91tv

Kazem Abdullah did not expect to fall in love at the Middlebury German School, nor how that relationship would help him gain greater fluency and artistic understanding as an orchestral conductor in Germany.

Abdullah shared his story in April 2024 as part of the “Purpose and Place: Voices of Middlebury” event during the NYC launch of For Every Future: The Campaign for Middlebury.

Listen to Abdullah’s talk above or read the transcript below.

Transcript

When I was around 30 years old, I had the opportunity to interview for my dream job to be a conductor in Aachen, Germany.

So there’s this thing in Germany that every city has a position called, in German, Generalmusikdirektor. Basically, this person is in charge of all the musical programming for the city. As the conductor, you conduct the operas, the ballets, and the symphony concerts. You really conduct everything.

In Aachen, that meant doing it for a city of about 300,000 people.

I had been dreaming about being a conductor since I was 12 years old and first saw the Chicago Symphony. I remember seeing the conductor, Georg Solti, and how he used his gestures to cajole the orchestra and make them sound amazing. I remember thinking, “�ճ󲹳�’s what I want to do.”

When I was going through the process, it was about a nine-month process where I went from being one of 100 applicants to one of nine applicants, and then to one of two applicants. 

When I found out I was one of two applicants, I thought, “Oh my God, I’ll have to actually move to Germany if I get this job.” At the same time, I thought, “Oh my gosh, I will have to lead an administrative team of 25 people. I’ll have to stand in front of an orchestra of 80 people and be their boss. And I’ll have to do it all in German.”

It’s pretty daunting, right?

I remember thinking, “Okay, well, I had been to Middlebury’s German School before, many years ago, so I did have some German, but I definitely don’t have the German to be the music director of a German orchestra in a German city. I don’t have the German to lead a 200-year-old institution in Germany.”

So when I got that call, the next call I made was to Doris Kirchner, who at that time was the director of the German School. I told her the whole story and how I was one of two candidates. I knew that the German School was going to be starting in two weeks, but I asked if it would be possible for me to go to Middlebury again. I just felt I had this shot and should really commit to getting better at German.

She told me, “Okay, well, that sounds like a great opportunity. Let me make some calls and I’ll see what I can do.”

Lo and behold, she called me two or three days later and said, “I managed to find some scholarship for you. If you want to go, you’re more than welcome.” So literally two weeks later, I packed my bags and spent the summer of 2011 at Middlebury German School for the second time.

When I went to Middlebury, I was very much single. There was this guy named Ferris. He was a doctoral student, and we shared a suite together. I was in level three, and he was in level four. Being in a suite, a friendship ensued and then, of course, more than a friendship.

Now, many of you know about the Language Pledge at Middlebury and what that really means. Depending on your language acquisition, if you’re level one or level four, it can be a great experience, or it can be just hell.

But thankfully, Ferris and I were at a comparable level, so we could communicate. I remember one night I asked him out in German. We had all our meals in German, all our meals in Proctor cafeteria. We went out on dates at Two Brothers in German, or what we called “Zwei Brüder.” Literally everything we did was in German.

That was really important for both he and I. One thing that was really beautiful about this relationship is that I had to be vulnerable. I shared all of my dreams, hopes, fears, and aspirations with this person, in German. When I look back, it was amazing because, through language and being vulnerable speaking about all of these in-depth things, I acquired the German language.

Over the course of der Sommer von Liebe, or the Summer of Love, I started to have a new dream—that Ferris might be willing to come with me if I ended up getting this job in Aachen. I said to Ferris, “Would you want to come?” and he said, “Yes.” I thought, “Okay, great.”

Fast forward to the fall. I had gone to Germany, done the last interviews and performances that I had to do, and I ended up getting the job. I was super excited. I’d done all this work, went to Middlebury, and had great German skills, and I was excited to tell Ferris.

Unfortunately, there was a change of plans and a change of idea, which can happen. So I ended up going to Aachen, Germany, alone. I remember having to dive right in. I had to start planning concerts, rehearsing, giving performances, and getting to know the staff and all of this.

In the process of doing all that work that I had prepared so hard for, I realized that I had a command of the language where I could really communicate with my musicians and let them know how they were doing, how to phrase certain phrases. But I also had deeper insights into the words and poetry that composers use when they’re writing operas or Lieder and things like this. It gave me artistic insight as well.

But at the same time, starting this job, I was very sad that things with Ferris didn’t work out. About a month into being in Aachen, I had an apartment and there was always something going wrong with the Internet, and I had to go to this Internet cell phone store.

Lo and behold, I was in there trying to communicate, and I noticed this handsome engineer. I thought, “Well, I have really good German, so I’m gonna go ask him out.” 

We ended up being in a relationship.

So that’s it. Thank you.